After my previous epic post about Celine and Jessie, I reckon of writing another one. Last week I finally watched my favorite movie "Before Midnight" and it covered my whole face with tears. I felt that my eyes were so swollen and I couldn't explain to people the next day why. Funny isn't it? It's not a tearjerker movie but it made me cry big time because the movie screenplay touched my heart. But what I didn't expect was --- it ended with another open ending. I was wrong to tell people that it was the last installment. Now, I don't know what would be the plan of Richard Linklater :)
But for today, I want to write something that one can consider food for the heart and could probably nourish you as an individual. Everyday of our lives since we were born, our hearts beat for several reasons and for whatever purposes it serve, we are entitled to follow it. The heart desires many things in life and the moment we fail to obey it, we might forfeit a wonderful opportunity that may come.
I myself forfeited many small opportunities in my day-to-day life but I have no regrets about it. Sometimes it's okay to miss small waves and just be prepared for the giant ones. My impulse for following my heart's desire is often big. In this life that no one can guarantee what could happen, what we can only trust is our gut-feel. That's what I did three years ago.
It was that year when I felt that I was in the verge of wanting to see a bigger world from where I was. I went to travel to UK and Europe by myself with one objective --- to see the other side of the planet! After a month of hopping in Europe, and Italy was my last stop -- I brought home an enormous amount of wonderful things. Aside from that, I had something to ponder about and contemplate for bigger waves that are coming -- on whether to risk or not.
A year later I made a risk. I quit my career that I had for a decade. I moved to Italy to study my favorite cuisine then eventually worked for a freelance job in marketing. It was La Dolce Vita to best describe what life I had there. I never had that certain happiness in life. It was the joy of having all those snippets of events that happened in my life in Italy that I will never ever have if I just stayed with my job. Those memories are about the friends I made, the food I cooked and ate, the places I visited, the houses I stayed and the culture I tightly embraced.
But because life is always bitter-sweet by default, I must say that I also had my hurdles and frustrations when I was there. It even made me cry. It was very challenging for me at that time and my title for this post which means "Excuse me for calling you my LOVE" would some how help me define the emotions that I feel now.
I flew 14 hours straight without stop-over just to reach my destination. I crossed the Pacific Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea. I passed by two continents before landing my feet to where life will walk me. The time difference is five hours from where I came from. And if height should be a comparison, it's a whopping 12 inches difference. If you will try to compute the age, I'm five years ahead. I don't speak the Italian language but thankfully there's GOOGLE translate to get us by. What am I entering to? I asked myself that time. This must be something.
My love for Italy, made me sacrifice a lot of things that up to these days I am not over contemplating of taking another risk for whatever giant waves that may be ahead of me. I'm still somewhere in between finding "COSA CHE AMO" and if any moment the leap of fate is back, I can only say these things:
"Non posso garantire un sorriso giovanile che dura per sempre, né per riempire lo spazio del divario torreggiante abbiamo fisicamente abbiamo, ma queste sono le mie promesse: prometto che un giorno io possa articolare le cose che voglio dire nella lingua che ci sia comprensione , prometto di cucinare ogni singolo giorno della nostra vita e, infine, io prometto la mia fedeltà che dura una vita"